Saint Bono I?

Adam hits it out of the park with this one.

ORLANDO FL.—In a statement to the public Michael Robinson of Relevant Magazine said that Bono would be beatified Tuesday afternoon. The monumental pronouncement is the first of many to come, sources say. “Beatifying a rock star is serious business,” said Robinson, “You really have to make an impact on the culture to achieve the status of sainthood. Bono has set that standard.”

Longsuffering experts on Relevant’s beatifying process have been waiting a long time for the decree to be made public, saying there are many more who are being considered as theological visionaries of the next generation. Names like Moby, Kanye West, and Scott Stapp have been swirling in the “beatific buzz” for years. Though the other names are subject to heated debate amongst the Editorial and Advertising Cardinals, all agree that Bono is the closest thing to Christ incarnate living today.

Read the entire “article” here.